overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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