I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
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you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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