Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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