it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
