at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
