Will you blow on my dice?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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