well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Randomize
