I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
