Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
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I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
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Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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