i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
