My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
