Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
