What did we do last night that was yellow?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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