Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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