if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
