I wanna bring you to show and tell
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
