Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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