Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
