Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
