you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
