I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
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if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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