i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
