you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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