the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
