Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
