Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
