I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I feel like abortions should bother me more
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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