Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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