you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
