how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
