2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
