Someone shit on the floor
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
