I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
