I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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