and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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