These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
