honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
