How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
