It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
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