Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we're making bets on your personal life
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
