All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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