ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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