You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I will be naked everywhere
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
