I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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