we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
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I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
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BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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