dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
