Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
