You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
