aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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