absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
