oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize