I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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