Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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