he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
