i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize