The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
