He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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