I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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