shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
