I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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