went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
