there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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