We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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