My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
