I can text with my tongue
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
