Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
