apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize