The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
