Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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