lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I think my moral compass just broke
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