Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
